????

I have more than started to believe that well timed silence has more eloquence than speech....provided it is exhibited at a place & time where it has relevance.......And the impact it generates surpasses everything! I can say so.. because …I have been at the receiving end.

Very recently I read somewhere that " People do not know what they want in life , but are very certain of what they don't want " but in my case the irony is that I am unable to figure out both... what I want or What I don't want.

Now that speaks of how complicated my mind is or may be how indecisive I'm by nature.... In either case , it is neither good for my personal growth nor is it good for people around me... coz eventually they are the ones bearing the brunt of all the anguish & turmoil that I go through because of reasons at times not even known to me !

Which again is a pain ! coz hurting ur loved ones is the last thing that I want to do but more often than not, that is precisely what I end up doing.

God help me !

Had saved it as a draft ..was re reading today n now I’m not even able to figure out the event that led to this write up... FUNNY isn’t it... anyways .... whatever was the reason...what came out was something.. I strongly needed to address... n I guess I have been able to do so... in the past couple of months... for which I m really glad !

God did help me n that’s the reason it has now come out of the draft mode ;)

I WILL....

What I really dislike about myself is that I begin things with great enthusiasm, spirit , conviction and a belief that I would continue to maintain the same level of committment all throughout.

But halfway through, I just completely miss out on it...It has been happening repeatedly... n everytime.. I only end up telling myself that "not his time Divya!!!!" but sadly.. I prove myself wrong every other time !

Now this has been really frustrating ... I just seem to have completely given up on it....

Be it gymming, be it writing my blog, be it playing TT,initiatives in office..n sometimes even relationships !!

I mean why am I not able to sustain things .. why am I not able to trigger my self with the same enthusiasm...to be able to drive myself to bring out the desired outcomes ....why do I lack the will to go on with it.. WHY ?????

This is something I keep asking myself... over n over again..

Come to think of it.. I may have trillions of excuses to support myself.. but then I know that I m only fooling myself by resorting to them ... after all I m answerable to no one but myself!!

N thats where I miserably fail ! :( :( :( n thats when I start writing like this.. which again is something I dislike !!! :(

I probably would have never published this. but what makes me do it .. is because this time I have resolved to myself .. that I will be totally committed n focussed to whatever I choose to do.. no matter how small/big, significant/insignificant teh thing may be.....and will not give up on it easily....

And the first thing on the list is GYMMING.....way to go girl... shed atleast a couple of kgs in the next one month :)

Lets see how far it takes me.. ALL THE BEST D :) !!